Haggie Partners’ is proud to support The Children’s Literacy Charity.
If you would like to make a donation please click here.

Ten awful Christmas jokes

Q: Why did Santa ban fizzy drinks from his workshop?A: Because they were bad for his elf.

A: Because they were bad for his elf.

Q: Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing?

A: They keep dropping their needles.

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

A: Frostbite.

Q: What is an elf’s favourite kind of music?

A: ‘Wrap’ music.

Q:  What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?

A: Tinsillitis

Q: Who hides in a bakery at Christmas?

A: A mince spy

Q:  What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?

A: A Christmas quacker

Q: What carol do they sing in the desert?

A: O Camel Ye Faithful

Q: Who’s Rudolph’s favourite singer?

A: Beyon-sleigh

Q: How did Scrooge win the football match?

A: The ghost of Christmas passed

The Children’s Literacy Charity

We are proud to support The Children’s Literacy Charity, who help disadvantaged children to catch up with their literacy.  This festive season, they are encouraging us all to ‘Love Literacy and Share the Joy’: if you would like to support their vital work please visit: https://thechildrensliteracycharity.org.uk/

Merry Christmas from Leadenhall Market

Ten terrible jokes to ruin Christmas dinner

How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
Nothing – it was on the house

What type of cars do elves drive?

What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
It’s Christmas, Eve.

What do you call Father Christmas on the beach?
Sandy Claus

What does the Queen call her Christmas Broadcast?
The One Show

What says Oh Oh Oh? 
Father Christmas walking backwards

Who hides in a bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy

Why couldn’t Mary and Joseph join their work conference call?
Because there was no Zoom at the inn

Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars?
Because their days are numbered!

Why has Santa been banned from sooty chimneys?
Carbon footprints

Maz’s top five Christmas movies of all time

  1. Santa Claus: The Movie (1985)

2. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)

3. Home Alone (1990)

4. ELF (2003)

5. Krampus (2005)

Decorating the Office Christmas Tree

Santa in the City run

Today,  Liv, OFK, Bec, Em and Ro, are running for the annual Santa in the City run for the Children’s’ Literacy Charity (in full Father C costume!).

If you would like to support their efforts, they would be incredibly grateful for any donations.

Please donate here


Caroline’s Christmas Facts #1

“Kentucky Kurisumasu”
In Japan, Christmas is not a national holiday. Christmas Eve is seen as something of a special “date night”, and if there is cake, it is made with strawberries and cream. Even more confusingly to westerners, thanks to a successful advertising campaign in the 1970s, the popular food of choice for the festive season is Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Find out more here

Find out more here

Peter’s Christmas sausage rolls

A Christmas quiz! Pt. 1 – Questions

Christmas Quiz pt. 2 – Answers

Richard’s Christmas spooks

Leadenhall Market: where many an intriguing sight can often be seen but this takes the festive biscuit. While clearly [spoiler alert] these creatures were actually ladies on stilts, they glided silently and gracefully through the market as though a visitation of the real thing. Fine spirits indeed.

JS Christmas Spooktacular

Christmas has not always been a time of colour and light. As fables like Krampus, and the spectres of A Christmas Carol teach us, Christmas, being a festival of mid-winter is often a time of darkness and fear. In keeping with this tradition here is a retelling of a particularly Christmassy part of the terrifying The Woman In Black.

Ewelina’s Christmas cocktail


The traditional negroni dates back to the early 20th century, when it was supposedly invented by the Italian Count Camillo Negroni in Florence, Italy. While the traditional negroni can be found on cocktail menus in most bars, creative bartenders have been experimenting and tweaking the equal parts ratio. Some even dared to replace Campari and red Vermouth with other liquors to create new and more modern twists on the conventional cocktail. My recipe for ‘white negroni’ is one of those experimental ones and I originally came across it at a Borough Market bar and restaurant, Elliot’s. The cocktail is delicious and floral with a hint of sweetness and is perfect for festive celebrations.

1. 1 ounce gin (London Dry Gin preferably)
2. 1 ounce Vermouth Bianco
3. 1/2 ounces Suze gentian liqueur
4. 1/2 ounces Bitter Bianco
5. Lemon twist or rosemary string

1. Add the gin, vermouth, bitters and Suze into a mixing glass with ice and stir for 15 – 20 seconds until chilled.
2. Strain into a rocks glass over fresh ice.
3. Add garnish of your choice.
4. Enjoy

Rowena’s Christmas gifts for under £5

This Christmas, as recession looms and we’re all wrapping what presents we can afford in the gloom, I thought it helpful to see what’s out there for under a fiver.

So here goes.

PS.  Yes, I KNOW, delivery is extra but I’m not a blimmin’ miracle worker, dudes.

First off, this little beaut, from my favourite online shop, presumably does what it says on the tin, though don’t take my word for it…Let me know how you get on…

Belly button cleaner

I’m getting this for several colleagues…They know who they are.

Personalised prescription wine bottle label

Who didn’t love Spitting Image? Here are some cool playing cards of the whole team for when there is zilch on the telly and presumably you’re too old for Twister in any case.

Playing cards

This one is actually quite tasteful. Here’s to giving the gift of random kindness!

Storage tins

Or, what about seeds AND a tree decoration – a double whammy – what’s not to love?

Plantable seed paper

Can’t forget the chocolate so here’s something from that well-known shop. Other confectionary outlets are available, obvs.

Christmas chocolate

Lastly, and my favourite, I didn’t know I needed a gold monkey plant thingy, but now I do.

Plant hanger

And if none of those float your boat, stay in bed, lock your doors and wait until the sales.

Happy Christmas all!

Jane’s Christmas game

Hectic Elves

A lively card game for Christmas celebrations.

You’re a team of Santa’s elves, each competing to put together the best sack of toys as quickly as possible. To play you will need a standard pack of playing cards and 3 to 10 players.

Aim of the Game
Collect the highest scoring hands of cards as quickly as possible. The highest total score after 4 rounds wins.

• A player’s hand may score on a combination of collections
• A card that counts toward a royal or straight flush cannot also be counted again against a plain flush or straight.

e.g. a hand of two aces and three kings would get 4 points for the two aces (cards of a kind) and 6 points for the three kings (cards of a kind). A total of 10 points.

e.g. 4 nines and ace of hearts would get 8 points for the four nines (cards of a kind) and 2 points for the nine and ace of hearts (flush). A total of 10 points.

e.g. Queen, King, Ace, Ten and Nine of diamonds would get 9 points for the Queen, King and Ace of diamonds (royal flush) and 2 points for the nine and ten of diamonds (flush). A total of 11 points.

To Play
1. Deal six cards to each player. This is each players’ “sack of toys”. Place any remaining cards face down in a draw deck in the middle of the table.

2. Players each choose one card from their hand to discard. Create a face up discard pile next to the draw deck.

3. In parallel (don’t wait for turns) players try to improve their hand. They can do this in three different ways:

a. Swap a card with another player. E.g. Player A shouts an offer to the table to give a ten of hearts in exchange for any diamond. Most of the other players ignore this, until Player B decides to accept and the cards are traded. Note: there are no game rules about telling the truth on the card being swapped – players are restrained only by their own morals…
b. Add a card to the discard pile and draw a card from the top of the deck.
c. Swap a card from the hand with one from the discard pile. Note: this might sound like a great idea, but be careful – you don’t want to waste too much time waiting to get access to the discard pile or wading your way through it.

4. At any point, any player can declare “CHRISTMAS” (shout loudly so everyone hears). When this happens, play stops immediately and everyone scores the cards they currently have in their hand.

Note: it might not be the best strategy to wait until you’ve amassed the perfect hand – you might score better than other people by calling ‘Christmas’ earlier when you have an average hand.

JS Christmas crooning

Caroline’s Christmas Facts #2

Favourite Christmas carols
Do you have a favourite Christmas carol? Before 1700, you probably didn’t because “While shepherds watched their flocks” was the only Christmas hymn authorised to be sung by the Anglican Church. Until then only the Psalms of David were permitted to be sung. Nahum Tate wrote the words to “While shepherds watched…” but there was certainly a wide variety of tunes – it is said it has been sung to more than 100 tunes! At least 43 are still known today. Have you sung more than one?

Bec’s top five Christmas songs

1.Christmas (baby please come home) – Darlene Love (1963)

2.Christmas Time (Don’t Let the Bells End) – The Darkness (2003)

3.Wonderful Christmas Time – Paul McCartney (1979) 

4.Jingle Bell Rock – Bobby Helms (1957) 

5.Stay Another Day – East 17 (1994) 

Meg’s “Five Celebrities you didn’t know released Christmas Songs”

Kate Winslet
The Titanic star sang for the 2001 animated film “Christmas Carol: The Movie.” It didn’t bag the prize of being a Christmas number one, but did manage to reach number six in the charts.

Nicole Kidman
The Aussie actress entered the world of festive music with the help of Robbie Williams. Their song “Somethin’ Stupid” climbed the UK singles chart to the top sport that Christmas.

Kristen Bell
Although known for her vocals in the Disney smash hit Frozen, Bell showed off her singing voice in a different animated character’s song “Text Me Merry Christmas,” an ode to “The Time We Live In Now.”

Robert Downey Jr.
Before stepping into the world of the Marvel Universe, Downey started n Ally McBeal and sang “White Christmas” with Vonda Shephard, it really was something to marvel at!

David Hasselhoff
“The Hoff,” may be famous for wearing red swim shorts, but he swapped them out for a Santa hat in 2010. The Baywatch lifeguard traded in his swimming trunks for Santa’s sleigh and slayed his way through his single “The Christmas Song.”

Olivia’s Christmas table runner

Christmas table runner
• Plank of wood
• Moss
• Spruce
• Seasonal foliage (e.g., senecio, viburnum, eucalyptus, etc.)
• Red berries
• Gardening wire
• Your choice of decoration

• Source a plank of wood or an alternative material to fix the foliage to
• Place tightly rolled clumps of damp moss onto the plank
• Fix the moss to the plank with some gardening wire
• Take your spruce and trim the ends at an angle, ensuring that you have a sharp point and that the stem is long enough to push into the moss
• Remove the leaves from the bottom of the stems to make it easier to push into the moss
• Start by pushing the spruce into the moss around the edge of the plank
• Once the edges are fully covered, cut the foliage in the same way as you did with the spruce
• Now you can start to place your other foliage into the moss at an angle
• Be creative and play around with different types of greenery
• After you’ve covered all the moss, start adding a bit of colour using red berries
• Add any other decoration of your choosing
• Enjoy!

Damian’s Christmas cocktail

Hannah’s chocolate reindeer

Haggie Christmas everyone!